From Dog Mom to Baby Mama: Opening up to the Adventures and Growing in Confidence in Parenthood

This may be risky to publish and come as a shock on a blog meant for moms, but here goes: for much of my younger life, I was not interested in having kids. There it is, out in the open. There once was a time that I only had eyes for this guy right here.

My dog Huckleberry is pictured here as a puppy. The one who made me a Dog Mom.

Growing up, I always loved animals. My family always seemed to have a pet, or five, around. But did that love carry over to the idea of having children? Not so much. The only kids I ever thought could be in my future would be if I were to start a goat farm and have the baby goat kind of kids. (In case you are wondering, I do not have a goat farm.) Still, it seemed a far more likely scenario in my mind than having a child of my own.

Even with a love for animals, I internally doubted whether I had the time, energy, finances, and space to really take care of one. And, when I least expected it, the stars aligned and I found myself driving to go look at a litter of puppies. They were blue heeler mixes, and I was immediately entranced seeing those adorable puppy eyes, happy wagging tails, speckles and spots, and floppy ears bouncing around. Inhale! Ahh...I guess that's why they call it puppy love.

Becoming a dog mom changed my life quite drastically. I had a very active, energetic, adventurous working dog who needed lots of love, training, and a shocking amount of playtime. Much like kids, wow, these cattle dogs can go, go, go until finally back at home, they will crash asleep in bed (most likely your bed, not their own) only to wake up bright and early, ready for more. We eventually nailed down our routines, the routes we would walk or hike, we tested out almost every dog toy on the market to find the most durable for those powerful chompers of his, and together we learned how to understand each other with quiet stares, points to a leash or the door, and paws at my leg. I remember having to troubleshoot my dog's fear of stairs, which we patiently worked on together with peanut butter frozen on a spoon to coax and teach him that he could succeed in going up and down confidently. Like a proud parent at a school recital, I clapped and cheered for Huck's bravery and growth as he reached his milestones! For a very long time, my every waking moment outside of my work day became obsessed with reading parenting books, I mean dog training books, researching food and treat nutrition, trying out the steps of positive play and positive dog training techniques. Hey, wait a minute...does some of this sound familiar to the life of a human parent? Oh yes, I promise I will get more to the human parenting bit...

Huckleberry, all grown, playing frisbee in the park.

In time, I was so devoted to my dog that I couldn't imagine life without him. Instead of heading straight out after work to a happy hour with a friend, I made sure to head home and go for long, leisurely dog walks. I met new people and made new friends with people who also had dogs, and we would get together for doggie playdates or weekends filled with lots of barking, wagging tails, and wine sampling. Instead of fancier restaurants, I opted for casual eateries and coffee shops with outside patio environments that were dog-friendly, never to be seen fully clean again due to clothing perpetually accented with white and black fur sprinkled all over like confetti. It feels silly to think back on the fears that I had. I had been afraid to commit to becoming a dog owner because of, well, all of the commitment and care I knew would be needed, but soon found that I enjoyed life so much more and had all kinds of new adventures thanks to the one who made me a dog mom.

Huckleberry and I together after a sunset hike. Photo by Desiree Hunter.

My life had changed due to having my dog; sure, there were a lot more responsibilities and sacrifices, but it had become exponentially richer and more joyful.

All of this is to say to anyone out there who may have doubts or questions on whether or not they should be a parent (to a fur baby or human one), it will be okay, whatever your path. For me, I found it to be the beginning of lots of new adventures and lots more love. Thank you to my faithful companion, Huckleberry, for teaching me the ways of being more present, playing more, enjoying the journey more along the way, and embarking on my first taste of parenthood.

Growing in Confidence From a Dog Mom to a Baby Mama...

True to my nature, I suppose, I was absolutely shocked the day I found out I was pregnant. Particularly because doctors had told me it'd probably be hard for me to have one. But once again, the stars aligned when I least expected it and now I was going from a dog mom to a baby mama.

I instantly had lots of questions about whether I felt like I could do this, would I be able to be a parent, and thoughts of: what if I didn't love my kid?

I bring these things up to say, dear gentle reader, if you are having fears and doubts about your abilities and need some support, there's no need to feel shame. You are allowed to have any or all of these thoughts. I don't think there is enough open admission of having fears, doubts, anxiety, or worries that come up when facing a pregnancy or motherhood.

If you already feel like, hey, I got this! Amazing! You've got it!

If you're not feeling that yet. Amazing! You are normal, allowed to feel and think your way through all of these things, and you've also got this!

Somewhere along the way, I did feel open to positive possibilities, reminded again of new adventures to be had, and that hey, I could be a good mom or at least had the ability to try my hardest.

When I decided to announce my baby-to-be, I stayed true to the one who first showed me how to love like a mom, my dog Huck.

Huckleberry models his new badge of honor, a bandana reading "Baby Security (in training)."

I spread the news with a silly video to family and friends showing a growing pregnant belly covered by a t-shirt reading "From Fur Mama to Baby Mama."

Thank goodness for all of that great parent-to-be experience with my dog; I needed it!

Once I made it through my pregnancy and first had my infant in my arms, "baby mama" mode kicked into gear. Did I know what I was doing? Absolutely not! Did I understand what my baby's cries meant each time? How to feed him? When does he need a diaper? How to burp him or bathe him comfortably? How to appropriately buckle him into his first car seat? Heck no! I was so clueless that our hospital nurse thankfully checked our every move, showing us newbie parents how to swaddle, correctly align and attach a diaper, and correctly fasten carseat buckles.

Despite being deliriously tired, things are figured out over time, with help and sometimes on your own, until a solid footing is found. Much like my dog by my side, I realized too that my baby and I were a team and we would both learn how to communicate to understand one another with lots of patience, love, eye gazing, practice, repetition, and yes, hunting for answers in parenting books through all the hours of the night. Before you know it, you'll find yourselves in a trusted rhythm, growing with one another into a sense of ease and routine. Then you'll be smiling, laughing, enjoying a quieter, slower pace for a while on stroller walks, with giggles, chases, and adventures on the horizon.

So, if you are still at a stage full of questions and what-ifs, perhaps thinking that you could never do such a thing as become a parent, I highly recommend embarking on finding that perfect furry companion who will show you a glimpse into all that you are capable of by becoming a dog mom.